An open letter

Dear medical licensing "stuff",

Thank you for being such a tedious pain in the rump. Even though it seems like a bunch of ridiculous (and expensive) little hoops for practitioners (such as myself) to jump through, it protects patients.

xo,
Ms. V
(I like to try to put a positive spin on everything, folks)

Answering with an example

Ms. V: "C'mon. Aren't I the most indecisive person you've ever met?"
Bakondi: "I don't know."

xo,
Ms. V

What's in that stuff, anyway?

Four loco.

Patrick has had some interesting experiences on the stuff (apparently a lot of people have). I finally found some that sat in my fridge for a month...

Ms. V: "I had some four loco for us but I tossed it when I moved because I was sick of dealing with stuff and just emptied the contents of my fridge into the garbage."
*Note: before anyone gets worked up about me throwing away food, think for just a second about what few things actually resided in my fridge, then think about how many of those things were actually edible. Yeah, exactly... nothing was "wasted."

Patrick: "You just threw it out? Wha?? That's just sitting in garbage somewhere? It could leak on an animal and turn it into a ninja turtle or something!"

Miche: "Some poor, unsuspecting bunny doesn't know what he has coming to him."


They're probably right.
Side note: this is the 2nd time in 2 days that Ninja Turtles have come up in conversations. I love quirky coincidences. Good stuff.

xo,
Ms. V

Learning interesting stuff about your mother...

During a recent & rousing game of scattergories with my mother, sister, and sister's boyfriend:

Letter = B
Category = "Things you keep hidden"


Mom: "I put 'books'"
Ms. V: "What kind of books are you reading that you need to keep them hidden??"

Wine was involved.

xo,
Ms. V

Oh my.

On a rare and recent jaunt to the big K with my friend Michael-Sha-nay-nay, we stumbled upon these beauties:

Imagine my delight when a lengthy blog-worthy discussion ensued.

- Me (stops dead in tracks): "Oh my GAWD! I didn't think they were allowed to make these things anymore?!"

- Nay-nay: "You eat such horrible food."

- Me: "No, no. I won't eat these. I just genuinely thought they were outlawed."

(reaches for phone to snap picture)

- Nay-nay: "These things are probably made out of strychnine."

- Me (doubled over in laughter from both disbelief of the cheese-balls' existence and Nay-nay's strychnine comment): "Oh - that is SOOOO going on the quote blog!"

(snaps picture)

"I'll even caption the picture when I upload it to facebook!"

- Nay-nay: "Yeah, the caption should read: 'Top two ingredients: strychnine and failure.'"

Nay-nay finally had to pull me away. I still couldn't believe my eyes. The best part is that they're generic and have *smart* in the name. Wow.

xo,

Ms. V

PS: I really did think they were outlawed. No joke there, people.

How women work

Pondering life's great question on our recent ladies' night...

Lara: "How much do you think it's going to cost to fix a MacBook after you spill a bunch of wine on it?"

Erika: "Did you try the rice trick?"

Lara: "No. Well, yeah, but it didn't work. Now it just has a bunch of rice in it too."

Thank goodness people exist to fix these problems. :)

xo,

Ms. V

Much to my chef friend's horror...

It pays to have friends who are chefs, especially when you don't particularly cook very often (or at all, for that matter).

Last Saturday I had a good friend over to catch up on life, since I've been such a hermit lately. He made some pretty fan-fricking-tastic thai tacos, which we promptly devoured. Upon putting leftovers in the fridge, however, he discovered the reality behind my eating habits...

Chef: "Are those... wait... are those spaghetti-o's? Are you *serious*? I'm going to cook for you every night!"

Me: "They're vegetarian with soy meatballs."

Chef: "Only $9.95 a can at 'Wealthy Living.'"

The poor guy is still in shock.

xo,

Ms. V

Classic movies scenarios that stick with us...

Scene: townhouse in The Noosk. Joe is upstairs cleaning. I am downstairs on the couch.

Joe (yells down): Hey! What's *this* remind you of?

:wire hanger drops from above:

Me: CHRISTINA!!!!!

:)

Sometimes it's fun to have a roommate who 'gets' your ridiculous quirks, and even shares them with you.

xo,

Ms. V

Things you think of when you work in reproductive health

Scene: a paraguard that can't be used is discovered and about to be discarded

Amy: I have one!! Right here. (Points to pelvic area).

Laura: Awww! It's like jewelry for your uterus!

:)

We have fun at work.

xo,

Ms. V

Why Ben thinks I should move to California...

Ben: "They've never even seen an Irish person before. In California it's like Barbie & Ken, not Irish Annie."

Thanks Ben. I always like to be in places where I'm one of a kind. ;)

xo,

Ms. V

Dinnertime!

Scene: Miche and yours truly at The Pour House; Miche with a bowl of Caesar salad and a diet soda; yours truly with a giant plate of nachos and a water.

Me: "Look at this! I've gorged myself!"

Miche looks up...

Me: "Though, all I ate today was a couple of truffles and a bunch of lifesavers..."

Miche: "That'll do it." [thoughtful pause] "It's better than a Moxie and some peeps for breakfast."

Me: "That's what you had, isn't it?"

Miche: "Mmmhmmmm"

Me (with hysterical laughter): "Oh, this is ALL going on the blog!"

Miche: "I'm a picture of health."

:D

Time with Miche is always sure to result in good conversations for the blog.

xo,

Ms. V

On a trip through South Dakota... I found a piece of heaven

Scene: Cross-country road trip. In the car. Zippy Jr. With Joe. On our way to Wall Drug in South Dakota to spend the night. Big billboards everywhere, advertising all of the things Wall Drug has to offer. A few in particular catch my eye...

Ms. V: "Homemade donuts?!?!?!?"

Joe: "I was hoping you wouldn't see that sign..."

Ms. V: "A bookstore AND homemade donuts?! Screw the Badlands. We're not leaving Wall Drug."

Badlands turned out to be pretty cool too though. ;)

xo,

Ms. V

Animal, vegetable, mineral...

While discussing a rather delicious beer brewed by Flat Bread... (it has squash in it)

Ms. V: "It's called cornucopia. It's really good."

Leslie: "No. I don't like squash."
Ms. V: "It's beer. It doesn't taste like squash. It just has squash in it."

Leslie: "I don't care. It still freaks me out."

:)

(It really is a great beer, folks).

xo,

Ms. V

Our Tuesday nights

Referencing the fact that Honky Tonk Tuesday at Radio Bean and Ethiopian Tuesdays at RB's corresponding restaurant, Duende, coincide:

Patrick: "There's nothing more Honky Tonk than Ethiopians."

Love it. Love Honky Tonk Tuesday.

xo,

Ms. V

Inanimate objects

Drew: "Why does your car keep attacking me?!" - after being hit in the head twice by - you guessed it - my car.

He was a good sport about it.

xo,

Ms. V

Bright light! Bright light!

At a random birthday party in "The Middle of Nowhere, VT" this past summer...

Ben: Want to go light fireworks?

Ms. V: Psha! Do you really have to ask?!

We had fun. 'Nuff said. I only screamed a little bit...

xo,

Ms. V

Parts I & II in one post

Roadtrips with Ben tend to start off at the Burlington Bagel Bakery. The following quotes reference the napkin holders at this fine establishment, with the first quote occurring after I got my hand stuck in one.

Ben: "These are the worst napkin holders I've ever seen!"
(They really are awful.)

Fast forward one month to another roadtrip.
Ms. V: "Oh my gosh! I was just about to say 'These are the worst napkin holders ever!' then I remembered that's exactly what you said last time!"
Ben: "They ARE the worst ever. If there were a hell, it would be filled with these napkin holders."

We have now decided to start evaluating napkin holders. Yeah, for real. Why? Because that's how we roll.

xo,
Ms. V

Building on the last...

Ms. V: "We treat it with TCA, but don't ask me what TCA stands for because for some reason, I can't remember right now."

Ben: "Trichloroacetic acid?"

Ms. V: "Yes!! That's it!"

Ben: "We compliment each other perfectly!"



It's the simple things in life, folks - especially when it comes to friendship.

xo,
Ms. V

No explanation, really...

Ben: "You had me at prolapse."


...That's all I have to say about that...

xo,
Ms. V

One from the road

This one is from the road, our first day in Yosemite National Park. A beautiful little red-headed girl and I crossed paths and exchanged huge grins... Joe looked on with amusement.

Joe: "That little ginger girl looked happy to see another ginger."
Ms. V: "We *were* happy to see each other! We gingers have a secret society."
Joe: "That's crazy... It's a crazy secret society."
Ms. V: "A secret society of crazy?"
Joe: laughter...


I also made sure to point out that I'm not ginger. I'm auburn.

xo,
Ms. V