Friday, November 27, 2009

C'mon baby light my fire...

Over the years, I have discovered that funny things happen, and many stories emerge when I do stupid stuff. This should not be a surprise to anyone reading this blog, as I've got 4 years worth of junk posted on this thing to back me up. If you're reading, you know this. We're off to a good start.

So.... I'm sitting around my fabulous apartment the other night, enjoying the season of Thanksgiving. Wanting to set the mood for some relaxation, I decide to light some candles but notice (in a mildly annoyed way) that the wick of one of the candles is off-center and now melting the wax unevenly. Scientist that I am, I note that a simple solution is to add something small and flammable to the other side of the candle that will burn out on its own but cause the wax to melt. Gosh, I'm stupid. No, really. I really am. Read on...

I roll up a *tiny* - yes *TINY* piece of paper and add it to the wax. It burns. It keeps burning. The paper doesn't disintegrate. I shut the bathroom door and pretend this isn't happening. I wait a minute. Open the bathroom door & note flames. I shut the bathroom door again and hope that I hallucinated. I re-open the bathroom door & note flames again. I also note the boiling wax. At this point, the glass will shatter if cooled too quickly, so water is now officially out of the question. I'm too terrified to go near this tiny, contained fire because I now have visions of glass exploding and careening all over my bathroom and myself. (Yes, I'm a bit paranoid, I know). I whip out the fire extinguisher from under the kitchen sink, open the bathroom door a 3rd time, pull the pin, stand back 6 feet, aim, squeeze, and admire the puff of white smoke that has filled my downstairs bathroom. The fire is out. Everything is coated in powder. I put the fire extinguisher back underneath the sink, pour myself a glass of wine, and pop in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Clean-up can wait.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Ms. V

Thursday, November 19, 2009

She's back!

...and better than ever! I decided to check my site-counter and, much to my surpise, I discovered that people still check this thing.

Sarcastic writings to follow. Promise. I just had to recover from Paul's death. My period of mourning is over. Time to celebrate!

Ms. V