Tuesday, May 06, 2008

My new roommate

I hate bugs. Really. I really, really hate bugs. One of my ex-boyfriends used to say "There are only 2 things that Ms. V hates: bugs, and bugs." He wasn't kidding. Spiders aren't bugs, but I hate them too. They're creepy and crawly and gross.

This past weekend I was talking to a friend of mine about how much I hate them, and how I killed my first spider at the age of 20. He brought up a very good point: why kill a spider? It's an animal too, isn't it? If I would never kill a dog or a cat, I shouldn't kill a bug. He was absolutely right, so I mentally vowed to stop squishing all of the nasty critters who show up in my apartment.

I didn't think this would be a problem since I don't exactly live in a cockroach infested slum. It turns out that I was wrong. While going over some homework last night, I noticed that there was a very large spider sitting on top of my closet door. Fabulous. Just what I like to see. I was faced with a major dilemma. If I were to capture it and take it outside (5 stories down), I'd have to get within 6 inches of the hideous thing for more than 3 seconds and I would run the risk of it crawling onto some part of my body, which would send me into a psychotic fit. If I were to attack it with a paper towel, I'd become and animal-killing hypocrite. The only choice I had was to accept it and leave him (or her!) alone. The fact that I can't actually reach the spider helped with my decision. I'm short and don't have a stool. It hasn't moved. My theory is that it knows it was spared and has chosen to cohabit with me in peace. I'm OK with that. The other possibility, of course, is that it's already dead. Either way, I'm not willing to find out, so I'm keeping it as a pet. Maybe it'll help me get over this completely irrational fear.

If you have name suggestions, I'm happy to hear what they are. Something gender-neutral would be preferable. ;)

I'm going to stop avoiding my mountain of schoolwork now and get some of this stuff done.

Ms. V


e.ven said...

How about "Sidney"?

Ms. V said...

I *love* Sidney! I like S's. Sidney it is! Sidney the spider. I'm starting to really hope that it isn't dead. As long as s/he doesn't move, I'm OK with it. Naturally, I can't get close enough to put googly eyes on it, so I don't quite know where I stand.

Anonymous said...

Keep the spider. It's a perfect way to keep your mother at bay.

Ms. V said...

Hmmm... I suppose that would be the same mother who instilled in my this completely irrational fear and hatred in the first place.