Well, it's that time of the year again: HOLIDAY SEASON. I always find it fascinating that I actually have enough steam to go Chanukkah and Christmas shopping (remember: I work and go to school full time). Then again, my current state of insanity pretty much numbs me to any pain I might otherwise feel if I weren't nearly brain dead. This is one of the two reasons I love the end of the semester. The other, of course, is the fact that I'll be done school in three weeks and won't have to start again until January.
With papers due, finals exams coming up, and a traditional holiday financial strain that causes me to need to work more hours than I'm capable of handling, I get to drift through the days in a complete fog. I do experience some rare lucid moments when I look back and realize that I've accomplished a lot and will accomplish a lot more, but this is quickly replaced with a feeling of panic at the thought of continuing for several more years. Thankfully, the panic doesn't last long; my brain begins to shut down, my eyes glaze over, and I morph from an intelligent 26 year old to weary, stupified grump with the IQ of a raisin. I bet it makes all of you want to leave your careers to go back to school, doesn't it?
In all honesty though, I'm still plugging along. I AM completely worn out but I'm sure I'll plow through somehow. My saving grace is that I have good grades, so even if I bomb everything for the next three weeks, I'll still be able to pull off B's, and maybe even some A's. If I don't bomb everything in the next three weeks, well, I'll keep the A's and A+'s that I have. Honestly, it's what is keeping my motivation up. After all, a 4.0 looks better than a 3.0 when applying to medical school. Besides, I've come this far, why let a little burn out bring me down now? (To all of my friends out there: this is an invitation to send encouraging "You can do it!" letters - just in case.)
Just thinking about all of the free time I'll soon have to play with makes me nearly drool with happiness. I guess I need to keep my eye on the prize: NO HOMEWORK FOR A MONTH! That said, I should probably get back to this god-awful school crap so I can throroughly enjoy my time off.
Be well everyone - Happy Holidays to all!