"Who's on First" for the next generation...

This was received via email from a friend. I have no idea who wrote it, so I'm giving what little credit I can by saying "this was received via email from a friend." :)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

"Goin' down to Southpark..."

If I were a Southpark character, this is what I'd look like:




Note the cup of coffee.

If you'd like to make one, you can do it here.


Ms. V

Hmmm....

My sister tagged me. This is how it goes: If I tag you, you choose five occupations from the list just below, and finish the sentence in your blog.

The questions:If I could be a scientist. If I could be a farmer. If I could be a musician. If I could be a doctor. If I could be a painter. If I could be a gardener. If I could be a missionary. If I could be a chef. If I could be an architect. If I could be a linguist. If I could be a psychologist. If I could be a librarian. If I could be an athlete. If I could be a lawyer. If I could be an inn-keeper. If I could be a professor. If I could be a writer. If I could be a llama-rider. If I could be a bonnie pirate. If I could be an astronaut. If I could be a world famous blogger. If I could be a justice on any one court in the world. If I could be married to any current famous political figure.

Here are mine:

If I could be a scientist... Well, I already am, so, um, I guess I'd be a scientist who's already been given lots and lots of grants so I can do all of the research that I want to do (also, I'd find someone else to write the grant letters and research proposals for me).

If I could be a doctor... I'd be a neurologist, because nerves are wicked cool. ;) (said in a true yankee accent)

If I could be an athlete... I'd be a world-championship swimmer with really great muscular definition.

If I could be a musician... I'd a combo flute/piano player like I am now, but I'd actually get paid to do it. That would be really nice.

If I could be a professor... I'd *finally* be able to corrupt the next generation on a larger scale than what I do now. Muahahahaha!!!


Perplexio, now it's your turn.

Ms. V

Congress makes me sick sometimes...

A bill that I don't like

What I'm curious about is this quote: " "This bill simply says that a parent has a right to know if their child is having surgery," Clay said."

I guess I'll have to read the bill in full if I want details because there *are* non-surgical abortions. Would someone assisting a minor in getting a non-surgical abortion be exempted from living within the confines of the law (if it even becomes a law...)? I hope so.

I can't even begin to list the possible ramifications if this becomes a law. Where do I start? How 'bout not at all, because just the fact that it passed in the house (or was even proposed!) is infuriating.

Hoping I don't lose *my* right to choose, too-
Ms. V

Super-geek, super-geek, I'm super-geeky!

Well, it's time I come clean. I've been "nominated" (don't know why they use that term) to join one of the honor societies at school. Not just ANY honor society though. It's the one for the super-geeks. I guess I've done a good job of fooling people into thinking that I'm smart. This also means that everyone will expect big results when I start my research next spring. Great.

Anyway, I wasn't sure if being a nerd was still "in" but I've checked my sources (they're reliable) and it is. Also, it'll look good on my CV when I apply to med school. This means that I will join. Just call me "super-geek." I hope it doesn't mean that I have to start wearing my geeky-looking glasses. I much prefer my contact lenses.

Off to buy a pocket protector,
Ms. V

I wonder if he'll make it as a "runner up" in the next Darwin Awards

Check it out:

Stupid Thief

If the cops had taken longer to find him, he might have been one of the recipients of the Darwin Award, instead of just a runner up (I think you actually have to die as a result of your stupidity in order to receive the award).

Kinda' TO'd

For two reasons:

1) Apparently, because I have a stupid auto-immune disorder, I don't qualify for life insurance. Hub called the insurance guy and *politely* asked him to try again. It's not like I'm on my death bed! Ulcerative Colitis does not make me a huge risk. At least, *I* don't think so. They're looking into it again.

2) I was kind enough to let a girl in physics class borrow my notes last week. She has a habit of either skipping, or leaving early, so I lend her my notes. She was supposed to give them to me on Thursday, but wasn't done with them yet, so I told her to keep them until Monday (yesterday). Guess what? The irresponsible little punk skipped both of our classes to go to a Red Sox game! This means that I have a Physics exam on Wednesday and no notes. I have my crappy notes that I take in class, but she has my really pretty, recopied and organized notes and dammit, I want to study from those!

Grumpy because it's early,
Ms. V

By my sister's request...

Black and purple it is! So, basically, it's back where it started.

Pic's of the hub's blanket will be posted later.

:)
Ms. V

She's at it again!

Today's topic is "fun with colors." I finally found a website with every html color code imaginable. Better yet, the color samples shown are a bit larger than most. I now have a better idea of how the blog look, without having to change it 15 times. Yay!

I've bookmarked it. The colors will change more often now.

Off to catch a rainbow...
Ms. V

The linguist, part II

Background: At my old job, there was a woman who sat near me who didn't quite have even the most basic language skills. She would often use words inappropriately, and sometimes made new ones up. This extended to phrases, too. Not only would she use the phrase out of context, she would typically butcher it so much that it made absolutely no sense at all. Since another coworker and I filled our time with making up nick-names for the people who sat near us, she was dubbed "The Linguist."

I shall give you examples of her work:
1) When referring to a sick relative, she said "The Doctor says it's just going from one extremity to the other." Clearly, the correct word should have been extreme.

2) She had "back problems" and could only drive a certain kind of car. Why? Because it was the only one she could sit in without "any degree of uncomfortablement."

3) When referring to her poor-driving skills in NYC, she told me she was "still Greek with it." (What the hell does that even mean?) I'm guessing she was thinking of the phrase "It's all Greek to me" but you wouldn't typically say that when you're talking about driving. It's more of a can't-read-the-directions type of phrase.

Now you have an example of each case. Fun, huh?

I thought I had seen the last of her, but apparently, there are others like her floating around in the world. Yesterday, in bio class, one woman said "resceptible" when she should have said "susceptible." I thought she was just tongue-tied, but she said the same thing again later on that day.



I hate these colors. They have to go. I'm taking suggestions.
Ms. V

This is it!

Alright, these are the colors I've decided on for spring. They're absolutely awful, I know. I'd thought I'd have a little fun though. Don't worry, I'll change them. Eventually. :wink:

Ms. V

bear with me!

Don't worry, these hideous colors won't stay for very long. I'm playing around, trying to find the right combination for spring. I've looked at too many though, so I need to cleanse my visual palette. I'll come back to settle on the final outcome later.

In the meantime, make sure to wear some sunglasses if you're reading my blog.

Nearly blind,
Ms. V

I'd wake up and smell the coffee, but I can't

Well, I finally feel better, even though I'm still coughing and blowing my nose constantly. There's a problem though: I can't smell anything. At all. I'm not stuffed up, but I still can't smell. I have horrible nightmares about losing my sense of smell altogether. Bleh. I couldn't even smell the coffee brewing this morning! I keep thinking that something awful will happen, like a skunk will spray the back of the house, and I won't be able to tell. This will, of course, make me reek like a skunk without even knowing it.

Cross your fingers that the skunks who live in the woods out back don't get scared or TO'd at anything.

Also, we've had so many gorgeous days in a row that I feel compelled to read some Poe just to balance out the happy feeling I've had since last week. Instead, I will take advantage of the weather and do my homework on the back deck.

Ms. V

A special day for some friends...

To Perplexio and his fiance:

Happy wedding day!

much love,
Ms. V and the Hub

I have a good excuse, I promise!

Alright, Condor and Blaze had a birthday on April 10th and I didn't post pictures like I did for Teba and Grenidine. I was sick. Really sick. Really.

In either case, to make up for my error and help get rid of some of the guilt I feel, I'm going to post extra pictures of Connie and Blazey. Lucky you. :)

The first big thing hub and I did after we moved in together was adopt this pair of littermates, partly to give Teba a pair of friends, partly to give some homeless cats a chance at a spoiled life, mostly because we wanted to expand our family together. Afterall, Teba was mine, not *our's* at the time. We found Condor and Blaze at the local shelter, fell in love, and adopted them 2 days later.

Happy 4th birthday guys!

Kitten picture:



Together, all grown up:



Blazey:



Connie:

Illness, day 5 1/2

Well, I finally went to the doctor today. After 5 1/2 days of knocking on death's door, I thought I might as well give it a shot.

Unfortunately, she said exactly what I thought she'd say: It's viral and just has to run its course. The other option is that I actually have Pertussis (the 'P' in the DPT vaccine, otherwise known as whooping cough). I find that a tad hard to believe since there haven't been any big whooping cough outbreaks in the area lately. In either case, stay away from me. Far, far away. You don't want a virus and you certainly don't want whooping cough.

I managed to make it through half of my calculus class tonight before feeling like I was going to pass out. At that point, the instructor allowed me to leave. I'm missing physics, which sucks, because I get lost if I don't go to class. Our book stinks and I can't teach myself out of the text like I can with calc.

I'm not real thrilled knowing that I'm going to get better, only to have 3 times as much schoolwork to do.

Thank goodness the semester is almost over.
Ms. V

Last night, I tried something new...

Last night I tried to cough myself to sleep, since nothing else I did seemed to work. That didn't work either. Bummer.

After a hot cup of tea w/ honey, a face full of steam, half a bottle of advil, and several wiffs of my vicks inhaler, I was finally able to lie down without any degree of (my sister will love this) "uncomfortablement." (In English, that word is "discomfort.")

Still coughing, still wheezing, still trying to get better.

Hub's making me some more tea. I haven't had coffee in days. Perhaybe that's my problem?

On the mend, I hope for real this time -
Ms. V

One of the funniest sounds known to man is that of an asthmatic with a chest cold, trying desperately to breath

I sound like Stevie from "Malcolm in the Middle."

Just when I thought I was actually about to kick this, it moved from an ear/nose/throat thing to an ear/nose/throat/chest thing. I wish I could find the person who put a cinder block in my lungs. As soon as I'm able to breath again, I'm going to beat them with it.

Time to go back to bed so I can wheeze some more.
Ms. V

:(

Poor Blazey. He has IBD. When it would 'act up', I used to think that there was nothing worse than having a cat with IBD because you can't really do much for him. You feel horrible because you want to fix him. Now that I'm sick, I realize that there's nothing worse than having a cat with IBD when you're sick, because then you have to choose between being a good cat-mommy and spending the day locked in the bathroom with him so he doesn't get lonely, and staying in bed to sleep off a stupid virus.

Thank goodness I have a good hub. So far, he's done a stellar job of taking care of me, and now he's doing an even better job of taking care of Blazey as well.

You can tell how much someone truly loves you when you get sick. You can tell how much someone is truly devoted to the family you've made together when you AND the cat get sick and that particular someone takes care of everything with a smile on his face. In fact, he still tells us he loves us.

I have a good hub. I have a very good hub.
(BTW - cross your fingers and send healing thoughts for Blazey. He could really use them right now).
Ms. V

Life has finally caught up with me

I should have learned from past experience that when I do too much for too long, my body says "STOP" by getting sick. Bleh.

I had to cancel a coffee date with a friend of mine who I haven't seen in a year and miss terribly. I have to miss class tonight, which really sucks because it's calculus and in order to get my full 10% class participation grade, I need to go to every single class. I have to call in sick to work tonight, which also sucks because I called in on Monday for other reasons. :(

Yuck.

Time to grab some tea then go back to bed. Not that I can sleep... my glands are swollen, I have an earache, my lungs are in such bad shape that it's excrutiating to breath and my sinuses are ready to burst.

Sorry for the graphic. I'm miserable. Send some healing thoughts my way!
Ms. V

I cannot wait, I cannot wait!

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" movie comes out on April 29th!

Perhaybe I'll re-read the book before then.

Time for work!
Ms. V

There comes a point in every girl's life where she realizes she's turning into her mother...

My mother is famous for her sweet tooth. If there's candy around, she'll find it.

While I've always enjoyed absolutely divine chocolate, I've never had quite the desire for sugary treats that my mother has... until now.

I had a cupcake for breakfast yesterday morning. As if that weren't bad enough, when I finished it, I thought "Geez, why'd I do that? I really only wanted the frosting." That is exactly the type of thing my mom would say. Apparently my sweet tooth developed later in life.

This morning I ate frosting out of the container. It's the breakfast of champions, especially when you have it with some chocolate-macadamia nut Kona coffee.

Time to call the dentist to have my cavities filled.

xo,
Ms. V

Wow, blogger sucks sometimes

The calculus exam didn't go very well. BUT, it's over. I don't have to worry about it. I'll get what I get. I have to work my butt off to prepare for the Physics exam that I have on Wednesday. Hopefully I'll do better on that. It's bad enough that I have to sit through class with Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dummer, and Tweedle Dummest. I should at least gain extra points for knowing that 1 - 13 = -12. Tonight Tweedle Dummest thought that 1 - 13 = +12. Amazing.

Going to that class kind of reminds me of the old SNL spoof on "Celebrity Jeopardy." Will Farrell used to play Alex Trebek and he was always shocked at the stupidity of the participants.

Study time!
Ms. V

I won! I won!

Aside from getting great deals on some cool items, and being able to find just about anything you could possibly imagine, ebay has one other benefit: It makes people like me into "winners." I like being able to win things without having balls thrown at my head.

Anyway, I won the yarn. Including shipping, I paid $34 less for it than I would have if I had purchased it locally. Yay for me!

Here's a picture:



It's the same yarn I used in the poncho, but in a different color. Now I can have two!

Happy Spring -
Ms. V

oh, how i love ebay...

Only 2 hours and 44 minutes left until I get some gorgeous yarn for less than half of what I would pay for it at our local yarn store.

:drools: There are few things in life I love more than gorgeous yarn.

Ms. V

Third time is a charm!

I'm still looking for reasons NOT to do chores and homework, so after checking out Perp's blog, I decided to be a copycat and fill out the same questionairre thingy that he did.

1. Using Mapquest, how many miles is it from your house to your parents' house? 104.38 miles.

2. Google your first and last name, in quotes. How many results were found? 5, and 3 of those are actually about ME. Pretty cool. :)

3. What room in your house is too small? All of them. We're bursting at the seems in this place.

4.What room is too large? None of them. See above.

5. Name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Stone

6. How much money did you make at your first job? $2.00/hr babysitting.

7. Favorite donut? Krispy Kreme, glazed

8. Name(s) of your next door neighbor(s)? I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

9. Genre of music you can't stand? Country.

10. Last thing bid on on ebay? I'm currently bidding on the most perfect yarn in the world. Wish me luck.

11. How much cash is in your wallet? $15, to help me get through any lack-of-coffee emergencies that I might have this weekend.

:)
Ms. V

Two posts in one day!

If there's one thing in life that I'm *really* good at, it's avoiding all of the stuff that's written out on my "to-do" list. As I sit here typing this truly pointless crap, I'm ignoring the fact that I have 2 bathrooms to clean, 3 loads of laundry to fold, a closet to empty and organize, and a load of homework to do. Oh yeah, let's not forget the 2 exams that I have this week. I guess I should also prepare for those.

It's more fun to sit around like a lump. I will continue to ignore responsibility for as long as I possibly can.

In order to add a little something of substance to this post, I'll offer the following (shared with me by my buddy Perplexio): http://stuckinrehabwithpatobrien.blogspot.com/

Sure, I know it's not nice to make fun of someone who's in rehab for all sorts of addictions, but the guy who writes this blog is too funny to ignore.

Laugh on!
Ms. V

A little taste of Ms. V's marriage...

Wonders! I actually got out of work on time last night. At 3:10am I walked in the door and Hub was hanging out on the couch, watching TV. He said he couldn't sleep so, despite the fact that I would normally stay up until about 4:15am, I went to bed with him. This is the conversation that took place:

Hub: "I'm hot."

Me: "I'm hungry."

H: "We should open the window."

Me: "We should go eat some food."

H: "Hmmm. You can go have one of your microwave meals..."

Me: "nah..."

H: (in the kindest, most loving voice) "There's bread, you could have bread and water."

Me: (hysterical laughter) "I'm going to post in my blog that you want me to live on bread and water!" (hence this post, as boring as it is for most of you). "Get out from under the covers if you're hot, that will help."

H: "There are wraps and pickles. You could have that."

Me: "Did you buy more wraps?"

H: "No. Where's Connie?" then hollars: "Boogie Bear!!! It's bedtime!!"

Me: "Then there aren't any wraps. Connie is just waiting in the shadows to steal your spot again"

H: "OK, we're back to bread then. You can have bread and a pickle." Then hollars again: "Boo-bear! Time for bed!"

Me: "Yay! I've moved up a notch. I get a side dish with my meal now."

Hub: "I wish Condor would come sleep with us..."

Me: "Forget about Connie, he's not coming. He's kinda' TO'd that I came home and stole his spot on the bed."

Hub: "Goodnight smooshy-face, I love you." (yes, he really does say that to me and I will REALLY be living on bread and water when he finds out I've posted it for all to see! Muahahahaha!!!)

Me: "Goodnight, I love you too."


The only part that I really wanted to post was that Hub actually suggested I eat bread and water. I guess it shows how little we cook around here. It would have been even more boring if I had just posted "Last night, Hub suggested I eat bread and water" so I gave you a play-by-play. Feeling pretty special now, aren't you? :wink:

Just another day in the mundane life of Ms. V
:)